he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
