Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
