i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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