I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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