I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
