She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
