what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
