My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
