I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
nutella sex= disaster
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
