I wish you could order shots online.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
