That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
