I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
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Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize