Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
