Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize