I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
