just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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