how can u be prego again
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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