is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You were trust falling into bushes
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
