I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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