i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
