It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.