I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.