I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.