Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
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You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
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His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.