Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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