He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
