She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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