He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
