so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
