While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
