Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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