I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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