ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
