Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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