Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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