Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
