At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
