READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
