How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
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shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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