I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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