i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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