I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Girls should come with a carfax report
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
