porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
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