we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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