but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
