And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
