you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
