I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
