It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
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Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
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Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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