The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
