We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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