Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
