i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
