After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
We left the knife in your bed.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just gargled with NyQuil
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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