How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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