I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
