Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
