I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I touched a dick in church today
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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