omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
