I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
