I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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