the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
