Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
