eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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