The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
