apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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