I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Randomize
