Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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